The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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Anonymous - Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - link
So you have no problem fostering xenophobia and hatred on your forums, but as soon as something happens to you personally, it's an issue?Take a look at what your members are saying, and then you'll probably understand better why this happened. Frankly I'm shocked that you seem so surprised at this.
Shree - Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - link
I'm with you bro. Its happened to me too. The world filled with ignorance. Have fun..Anonymous - Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - link
Anand, great website and thanks.I have a few contrarian comments ;)
Just do remember that the majority of the terrorists were Saudi's financed by those well meaning average Muslims that would never hurt a fly. The point being that just as wasps allowed the KKK to exist with a wink and a nod in their communities, so do many average Muslims that would never do an act of harm. However, by not doing anything they could be considered part of the problem just as would those socalled Christians that allowed the KKK to exist in their midsts.
Also remember that many of these troubled zealots come from the radical Muslim schools which are largely financed by well meaning Muslims. Muslims around the world need to move to address these things. The problem can only be solved BY Muslims. Until these terrorists are ACTIVELY ostracized and destroyed BY THE Muslim community we will always have the problem.
gimmeabreak - Monday, September 27, 2004 - link
"Over two hundred people could have spent this forum time organizing, contributing, and otherwise pushing society in a more constructive direction."C'mon lets be real. Some ass hurt Anand's feelings. Your bound to find these jerks everywhere; driving with your family, out in public, wherever. Anand wrote a weblog post about feeling discriminated against to people who obviously wouldn't treat him that way (namely all of us). We all appreciate Anand and Anandtech for that matter. However, 200 or so collective "I'm sorrys" apologizing for some idiot makes no sense. What the hell for? To make Anand feel better? Gee, I wish I had that luxury. Anand could have just as easily given him the bird, voiced his opinion, or just walked off.
Sometimes you have one of those days and end up feeling like the world's against you. Sometimes it's other people that make you feel that way. It doesn't matter if they're black, white, bipolar, midgets, Christian, Muslim, or Jewish. If Anand is a U.S. citizen and feels so strongly about this why would one drunken jerk throw him in such flux? He knows the truth, isn't that the most important thing? Isn't that enough?
As far as the religous debate going on, who cares if people do it? It's constructive, and I don't see any threat in their passionate responses about their beliefs. Perhaps if we'd be more willing to listen than piss and moan when someone talks about religion we'd get somewhere.
Anonymous - Monday, September 27, 2004 - link
#232Good post! Now I understand why Muslim terrorists love beheading their hostages; Old Mo' prescribed it!
Peter Lewis - Monday, September 27, 2004 - link
I'm about to contradict myself.Generally speaking, these posts are well-informed, sympathetic, and probably very appreciated by anyone who has been subject to this kind of harassment. However, let's put ourselves, for example, in Anand's shoes; would you rather see sympathy or action?
We're all familiar with the phrase "Actions speak louder than words". For the sake of that wisdom, and for the sake of many more people than just Anand, suck it up, move on, and try to make manifest these ideas in a world not constricted to text. Once again, I'm sure the sympathy is appreciated. Remember, though, that we're striving for a world where sympathy of this form should not need to exist - at least some of us are. Over two hundred people could have spent this forum time organizing, contributing, and otherwise pushing society in a more constructive direction.
Save your words, that they may empower your actions.
Charles Hammond - Monday, September 27, 2004 - link
As an American who was born of American parents I never even realized that you were actually not an American of European decent. It would be somewhat odd to even see a man with a turban where I live which is Near St Louis, MO. A lot of the people in this region might be considered Rednecks or traditional Americans from European ancestry with the exception of African Americans who I am guessing originated from African Decendents (Duh). I would like to add that I was actually born at the Nauseur Air Depot near Casablanka Morocco. My father was in the Air Force so I was actually born in Africa. If I claimed joint citizenship that would make be a White African American. This is a little on the absurd side, but it belays my background. I am a son of an Air Force Enlisted man so I also got a chance to live in Italy near Ciampino Air Base for 3 years which was quite exciting. Then when I grew up I spent two tours of duty in South Korea in the US Army. This just shows that I have some experience living in foreign countries and being exposed to other cultures.When I came back from South Korea there was a time when my wife, who was from Seoul Korea, was contacted by someone who was from North Korea asking here if she would be interested in visiting there. I was in the Army at the time and she was afraid to bring it up. She is by no means stupid and just ignored the phone call. If she had told me about it at the time, I would have reported it as an attempted act by an enemy agent to get us to commit espionage. This is revealing because it shows that people that are from or nearly from your home country are not hesitant to attempt to get a foreigner to give them support or commit espionage in aiding the enemy.
My wife has often been targeted by police because she is different. She doesnt appear to fit in to the normal inhabitant of this area. Whether this is profiling or discrimination or just common sense reasoning on the part of a police I will leave it up to you to decide. I know she has expressed her disappointment with this kind of treatment, and it has upset me a time or two. It is bad enough that she does not speak English as her primary language and learned to drive after she arrived in this country. It does make things difficult at times.
Even though I understand this sort of thing I also know that many people from the middle east have been called on from friends or their countryment to help other people from their home country who may be working in the USA or actually immigrating themselves. This was a technique that some of the terrorists used during their stay in the USA before they committed their terrorists acts. I mention because I want to warn you and others about this. While it is an innocent act to give aid to your fellow countrymen, it might be considered aiding and abetting the enemy or even an act of treason in this country by the FBI.
There has been a lot of talk lately in this country that Muslims do not speak out against acts of terror. There was a gentleman who was a muslim that had written a book about this that was from a muslim country that was on the local radio station. He said that sometimes it seems that muslims may not aid the terrorists. However, he went on to say that some muslims even though they would not commit a terrorist act or help a terrorist sometimes in their hearts they have a gleeful feeling when a terrorist is successful. This does point to a problem even though from your own admission you may not have the same point of view.
I am sorry you have become upset in this occurrance, but I would ask you, if the person that offended you was in your mother's country, how would they be treated? It might be they would be treated well, maybe not. It probably would depend who they were associating with. I think there is good and bad everywhere, and that we should look for the good. Maybe one day you should wear your turban and wave the American Flag on independence day or maybe just a US flag pin to show your patriotism. I hope you have not been offended too bad.
May Alah Bless the Merciful.
Ramon Caballero - Monday, September 27, 2004 - link
Congrats on your wedding!And I am very sorry for your feelings, you are right and the Anon above me is also right, damn!.
What th f%&k is the solution? I guess is "Don't hate anyone", but it is as simpler as it is very difficult.
I'm Mexican, and I would like to think we don't have racial problems but hey, every gang that hates another gang is the same, just to country level.
I hope this don't get out of control (more).
Enjoy your marriage..(I am 10 years married so far, very nice)
Anonymous - Monday, September 27, 2004 - link
Lets simplify the Issue.All the terrorists trying to inflict harm on Americans today are Muslims, mostly from the Middle East. There is nothing wrong on Americans keeping a watchful eye on Muslims and Arabs; after all it pays to be cautious.
In the same light there is nothing wrong in our law enforcement agencies stereotyping and profiling those who are trying to hurt us.
If Muslims and Arabs want to integrate peacefully in the US today, they should do their bit to make us safer; they could start by condemning terrorism.
If you search the forums dealing with terrorism around the country today, you find the majority of Muslims there giving excuses for the terrorists and reasons for why Islamic terrorism exists; You do not find many of them condemning terrorism. It is very disturbing when the deeds of a terrorist are not condemned, even more when excuses, justifying them are given!
Until Arabs and Muslims, come out strongly against terrorism, we will consider you with suspicion.
SleepNoMore - Monday, September 27, 2004 - link
God bless you Anand. I am glad you are here.