The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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Ben Adelman - Sunday, October 3, 2004 - link
I think the jews are the cause of all world problems...Wipe them out and the world is a safer placeDanzig50sw - Friday, October 1, 2004 - link
SirPity me I am white. Pity me I am black. To the majority of Americans skin color does not matter. What you do in life matters. Racism is not about education about a person's culture. The culture does not matter to bigots. Uneducated racists hate because it is easy. For example you see Rodney King getting beat on TV or Martin Luther King getting shot, certain people generalize under race. They fail to get to know the individual. Never generalize for that is the heart of racism. We Americans are individuals not under our race, ethnicity, religion or place of birth but becaause of who we are and how we treat others. I'm sorry this happened in your and my country. Bless you
Brandon - Friday, October 1, 2004 - link
Anand: First of all, I want to point out to everyone here and to you yourself (as you might sometimes forget) that you are *AMERICAN* just as much as I am American. Where your mom comes from does NOT make you Iranian just as much as where my Grandmothers came from does not make me British, German or Russian. What you have *DONE* with your (so far) short life is 110% American, through and through... in fact, it is far more American than most of your audience or most of the average "americans", for that matter. I might not have all the facts straight here, forgive me for my errors, but I have been reading your site and LEARNING FROM YOU for about... maybe 6-7 years now... your site (and Tom's) were easily the 2 main sites that gave me the extra knowledge I needed to excel in my budding profession. Starting out at the grass roots level that you did and through lots of hard work and dedication you have achieved an AMAZING spot of eminence in the tech sector throughout this country and around the world. YOU EXEMPLIFY WHAT IT IS TO BE AMERICAN... except for one thing: that for a moment you believed some stupid loser and doubted yourself. You should commit to yourself and to God (Allah) that you will never ever think of yourself again as non-American, nor ever again think of how much you "just want to go home" which is "anywhere but here"... that was wrong, that was un-American, that was a moment, albeit a very small moment, where you failed yourself, your family, your God, and your fellow Americans; never again doubt who you are because of some jerk that clearly doesn't comprehend who it is that stands before him. Always be the model that you were destined to be!I know this is long... I'll try and sum up the rest of my thoughts as quickly as I can... most of the authors here are far too polarized on this issue. First of all, some take the position of basically saying that he shouldn't have said what he said... this is his PERSONAL blog where he expresses PERSONAL feelings... if you don't like what he says here, I think you should just get bent! Others here seem to take varius positions between learning to just deal with racism, to the thought of basically as I read someone say something to the effect of anti-muslimism is perhaps good or some crap like that... let me just say that both viewpoints are about as diametrically opposed views on racism as you can get. What muslims, indians, jews, christians, mormons, mexicans, russians, africans, and any other "group" has to realize when they come to (or finally realize that they are in) America is this: there is one GREATER "group" that we all belong to and is superior to any other "group"... the Common Brotherhood and Sisterhood of being AMERICANS! The sooner we learn to set aside our differences and cherish and revel in the one awesome and central commonality that we all have, the sooner that we will past our little hang-ups and racist/nationalist crap! Next time someone treats you bad because of your color, race, or creed, try this: go out of your way to be decent, polite, and kind to that person... odds are that that person is like that because they have been running shy of kindness from other people in their life and certainly haven't learned that it comes "from people like you" (whoever "you" happens to be at the time)... if your actions don't work (likely they won't), be kind and curteous as you are leaving... EVENTUALLY your action and/or the action of the next guy after you will 'click' with that individual and they'll "get it". (I.E. Don't "flip them off" as some reader commented... I admit I do it over road-rage issues, my bad... but over interpersonal relationships, this will definitely only excacerbate the problem!)
Some facts about me, in the interest of fairness:
* I am white
* I am a natural-born American
* I am heterosexual
* I am derived from ancestors mainly from "Europe"
* I am "Mormon" (thus, I am very familiar with this whole 'prejudice' topic and have had to "practice what I preach" a great deal when it comes to responding to people's attacks on my religion)
* I have been to about a dozen other countries and am intensely interested in other societies and cultures; though I realize, as someone wrote here, that America has created the most amount of good in the shortest amount of time for the greatest number of people.
no name - Friday, October 1, 2004 - link
Only once felt foreign - hey that's good. I was actually thrown out of one country (not us) - for being foreign. The locals did not mind me at all, but another foreigner did. And I'm white, did not look that foreign to them (or the person who made up a story about me in order to get people not like me)251- am sure its much harder if you look any different from the majority, but were you a white american in europe nowadays, you might run into people saying things to you because of the war, which is not popular, at least the people of european descent get along with each other where you live, it is not so in europe always.
Anonymous - Friday, October 1, 2004 - link
Well said #252I to am from another country. I echo your sentiments. While things are not perfect, the US is one of the best countries in the world when it comes to protecting the individual rights of its citizens.
Anonymous - Thursday, September 30, 2004 - link
I was born in another country, and I've traveled all over the world- some places were great, some sucked. The U.S. is far from perfect, but in it's short history, it has managed to create the greatest amount of good for the largest number of people.Anonymous - Thursday, September 30, 2004 - link
Anand, what you experienced wasreality. I'm surprised that it is the first time you have been made to feel "foreign."The truth of the matter is that as long as the color of your skin is not white you will have to hear those things for the rest of your life.
For example if you were an immigant who came from some European country. I can bet you that the drunk would not have said those things.
And him bing drunk is no excuse, the truth of what he what feels is coming out of his mouth.
It has been over what, 100 years? Do you think that African Americans are still treated or thought of as equals?
Ofcourse there are pleanty of people that have respect for everybody, but there are still a lot of people who do not.
Arian - Thursday, September 30, 2004 - link
Michael Moore has stated that Americans are the dumbest people on the planet. I very much beg to differ. We are some of the most ignorant people on the planet)Americans tend to be very uneducated about other cultures and frankly, dont care to know. Most Americans dont know an Indian from an Arab or a Muslim from a Hindu.
Its sad but true and it most likely will never change. After all, why learn about other cultures when you can watch Friends or some stupid reality show? Why go to India when you can go to Vegas?
assemblage - Thursday, September 30, 2004 - link
It seems non-caucasians think they have a monopoly on negative experiences based upon their race.Anonymous - Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - link
# 247Islamophobia, would be the right word. This phobia might be actually good. The reason for this is that all the terrorists trying to hurt us today are MUSLIMS. They draw their inspiration and motivation from the teachings of the Quran. Their fellow Muslims who claim to be innocent people, do nothing to condemn their actions. In fact talk to them in private, you will realize he smug satisfaction they derive from these actions.
Go to any mosque in the third world today, listen to what their imams (priests) say about America and the west, the kind of hatred they inspire and their glowing references to these terrorists, then you will be realize, Islamophobia is not a bad thing. In fact it helps keep us safer.