The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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Hameed - Saturday, September 11, 2004 - link
I am NOT an American. No really, I am not. I am an Arabic Muslim. Does that make me any less than anyone else? Does that make me a terrorist? Many people espicially Americans believe so it seems.In a way I am happy that this happened to you and you are talking about it, may be this will help more people realize that stereotyping is just wrong.
While you guys remember sep 11, just remember that while a thousands of americans died that day hundreds of thousands have died and still dying in the "war against terrorisim" how many of them really had anything to do with terrorisim?
BTW Anand, when you said "My mom is a muslim" I assume your father isn't? How could they get married then?
Ecmaster76 - Saturday, September 11, 2004 - link
I am currently taking CompE courses at Georgia Tech. At Tech we have a very large population of Muslim from abroad as well as other foreign students. I know a few and they are all pretty cool.What you encountered is not an American problem. It is a human problem. In a way, the guy who said that to you is a lot like the terrorists (or a school bully). He is angry and hateful; condemning without even really knowing. People find it all too easy to dehuminize others by thinking of them in terms of groups/races/religions or characteristics that make them different, instead of them as the individuals that they are. When you no longer think of other people in human terms, all manner of horrible acts seem justified. From tormenting someone constantly to killing it is all the result of the same thing.
It is a problem that occurs all over the world. Many people in other countries do judge America, not by the ones you named, but by our leaders and other famous people. They think of Americans as gun crazy cowboys or greedy capitalist pigs or whatever.
I'm sorry you went through that. But don't take it personally or as a sign that America is going down the $#!++er.
Adam K. - Saturday, September 11, 2004 - link
That is just the way things balance out sometimes. You are having the most enjoyable days of your life and some complete nincompoop has to come along and screw it up with his nonsense. Don't sweat it, Anand.Bill F - Saturday, September 11, 2004 - link
Anand,First, congratulations on your wedding. Welcome back. I'm sure you have a lot of catching up to do so I don't expect tons of articles right away, but I hope you can get back in the mix soon.
I won't say anything to make you feel unwelcome, but I can't say the same for everyone. I hope you can find a way to look past any ignorant remarks that others may make. Who knows what was going on the mind of that drunk? He was WAY out of line. I think you handled it the right way - I think I would have been tempted to hand him his head.
I have a co-worker who was born in Lebanon (a christian - if it matters), and he travels back every year. His comments about the mid-east are about the same as yours. There are hard-liners there, as there are here, but most people are trying to interpret the rules of their religion in a way that allow them to live a simple, decent life. They do this because, in their hearts, most people are decent and want to be treated that way.
I live about 5 miles west of NYC, and from my office in Rutherford, NJ I saw both towers fall. I lost several former co-workers and schoolmates that day, and I haven't been back to Ground Zero since - though I do get into the city often. I am going back to GZ today. I'll take the Path train right into the pit (unless they have it closed today) and then walk uptown to meet some friends and hang in Central Park - the weather should be nice this evening. (It's a fairly long walk from GZ to CP, and it will give me a chance to reflect on the day).
Bill
Greg - Saturday, September 11, 2004 - link
That's not cool. Just pity his ignorance and enjoy your honeymoon. Most of the rest of us out here are sane and don't make such assumptions. You were born here and have just as much of a stake in America as any of the rest of us do, so just remember that opinions are like a__holes and everybody has one. Some just stink more than others.