The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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Scott - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
Anand,Congrats and welcome back.
Sorry to hear about your incident. I would be mad and resentful. Let me relay my story. My first girlfriend was Japanese/Hawaiian. (Me? atypical blonde, blue eyed American.) At a party, some idiot says to me (not knowing my girlfriend) -- "All Spics and Japs should go home!!" (spics/hispanic, Japs/Japanese person) I was 16 and devestated.
While I can't image your feelings, I do know that I was utterly offended, outraged, angry. However for you, as others have pointed out, this guy was a drunk idiot who does not represent America. Sounds like a redneck.
You are welcome here, your home is here, don't forget that. Oh yes, you were born here :)
Thanks
(I agree with your point on "education..." it's needed everywhere.)
GL - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
The breadth of ignorance is indeed disheartening. In my opinion, this issue has three states: intolerance, tolerance and acceptance. Prior to 9/11, I think many optimists would have painted the United States as a land of acceptance where people of different religions, races and beliefs would accept their differences insofar as they did not interfere with the common good. In fact, the rhetoric of such optimists would probably have spoken about how the United States was strong because of its diversity. I think it would be safe to say that the U.S. is not a land of acceptance now (I don't think there are any places in this world where there is true acceptance). However, the United States is a land of tolerance. With few exceptions will you ever find yourself in harms way in America because of your religion, race or beliefs. You may be heckled; you may be mocked; you might be passed over for a job; you might be made to feel like an outcast. But people will by and large tolerate your existence, even in their own backyard.As terrible as this sounds, look at it in a positive light. A tolerant society learns to live together, and living together usually brings about true acceptance. It is important to remain ever vigilant that the situation does not worsen. This is why I think it's great that you've written here about your feelings. It's all too easy for people to dismiss the negative racial profiling that's going on today when they look at it from an abstract, impersonal view. To see somebody who has not only lived, but thrived on the American dream; somebody that many of us readers have literally seen grow up on this web site and know to be a good person, be the victim of such naivete is upsetting.
The first step toward reconciling a problem is admitting one exists in the first place. I'm not American and don't live in the U.S.. But from my perspective, I think as more of the haze from 9/11 clears, Americans are beginning to deal with some of their few unfortunate and misguided collective responses to the attack. I am certain that the increase in explicit racism post 9/11 will be seen for what it is: an ignorant, short-term knee-jerk reaction unbecoming of the foundations on which America was founded. Of this I have no doubt. It's probably not much comfort to you, but if you're worried of the situation worsening, I am of the opinion that it has already bottomed out and will only improve. Let's hope I'm right!
17 - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
I think you were talking to me as I posted those threads. My mom works with quite a few Muslims and when 9/11 happened, they actually had the guts to say that "we are glad this happened to US because they think they are better than others."I don't know about you but I would be pretty mad at such a comment especially when everyone is crying and these people could care less.
I am not a Native American. I am Indian and I am a sikh so it's not like I am biased on certain aspects of the country, BUT I do know that when something happens to a country you are living in (9/11 attacks), the least you can do is join hands with others and support each other regardless their race, color or whatever. Making crude comments like the one I posted above is irrational.
Let's take your comments one-by-one:
1. I could care less if I get the chance to vote or if I want to run for presidency. There are certain things that I don't care about and I know I will never get involved with (namely politics). When I said you get all rights, I meant the "regular" rights so to speak. I am not talking about special privleges that citizens get.
2. I never said you have to be proud to be true American. Like I said, I am an Indian and even if I don't currently live in India I am still proud of my native country. However, that doesn't mean that I should be ignorant of the country I am currently living in. You can make ignorant comments.
3. What do you mean "how can you be proud of a country that you just moved inn?" This is very possible. I am proud that I am a sikh American and I am sure Anand is proud of US or almost every immigrant. Please try to be clear next time.
Will talk to you later.
4.
stnicralisk - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
Anand it is very unfortunate that this happened to you. I have a friend who was born and India and he was indirectly harassed after 9/11 (even though for starters India != Afghanistan and they hate each other politically speaking.)Racism isnt something that only you have to put up with though it is everywhere. I am white and I have experienced it as well. I went to a school that was about 40% african american and I have been called names etc and it made me feel unpleasant. I also went to a school in an area that was 90% african american and that was much worse.
I can understand where you are coming from and I believe you are handling it very well because for the most part you are surrounded by people (likely higher than 90% of the population around you) who have a different skin color and therefor may consider themselves the norm and you different.
The question is what can we do about this and unfortunately while there has been some [emphasis]slow[/e] but steady progress in terms of eliminating racism against african americans... I am not sure this can be said about racism against people of other origins.
Jalf - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
Yuck, it's scary to see that even people posting here can be as ignorant as anyone.#7:
You don't gain all rights the natives have, just by setting foot in the US. Far from it. Just to pick an example, you have to be born there to become president. ;)
And honestly, it sickens me when people, on this thread or elsewhere, feels that you have to be "proud" of America to be a true american. How can you be "proud" of a country you just happened to be born in? Or one you decided to move to? Did *you* make the country what it is today? Or should you just consider yourself lucky to live there?
That's one of the reasons Americans are seen as arrogant by the rest of the world. The way a lot of americans assume they're better than everyone else. Not because of what they themselves have achieved, but because of where they were born, or where they currently live.
#17:
Saying that muslims are a problem because they "can't handle" western culture is a bit of a double-edged sword. That statement could just as well apply to you. You obviously can't handle muslim cultures either.
About Hameed's original comment, I read it like he's glad that this happened to Anand, not that he's glad 9/11 happened.
Whatever he meant, he's still got a very good point. 3000 innocents died on 9/11, but lets not forget about the 13000 civilians killed in Iraq, in a so-called "war on terrorism". That's just as tragic. Their lives are just as important as american ones.
#24: That isn't specific for islam. Dedicated christians won't marry people of other religions either. On the other hand, more relaxed muslims, or christians, or any other religion, don't have a problem with marrying people belonging to another religion. By calling Islam backwards because of something that applies just as much to christianity, you're really just flaunting your ignorance.
About muslim countries not denouncing terrorism? You do know that the US is housing an awful lot of ex-terrorists, right? Again, I don't think muslim countries are more of a problem than the US, or any other western country. Many muslim countries *did* denounce 9/11 immediately.
Again, I think it's really sad to see that even here, on a site that I believe is read by intelligent, and better informed people than most, one a site run by someone who actually *knows* both american and muslim cultures first hand, there's still so many people posting without even realizing how ignorant their posts are, who believes that to be truly american, you have to be proud of your country, and you can under no circumstances disagree with the country's course of action. Who believes that it's all "Their" fault, because "WE" can't be wrong.
Let's just consider this, shall we?
Anand makes a post saying how stupid it is that some people judge others based on something as ridiculous as their skin color. Then that thread turns into a discussion of how islam is backwards, how muslims don't seem to be against terrorism.
That sounds very much like what Anand just pointed out. Shallow, ignorant people who judge others based on their color of skin or on their religion, nationality or culture, which they know nothing about.
I expected better from a place like this. I expected, like someone said above, that the average intelligence in this industry was higher...
Anonymous - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
#28: Yeah, Muslims are too brotherly it seems.Anonymous - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
Anand. If you don't hurry up and write some Mac related articles, I'm going to call the INS and have you deported.Anonymous - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
one big problem muslims around the world is that although they are not contributing to the terrorism, they do not denounce it nearly as much as they should. After 9/11 The White House should not have had to go ask/pay muslim countries to denounce the attacks, those countries should have been the first in line to denounce them.Anonymous - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
#25: I agree with you. It makes them seem like they don't care.ProviaFan - Sunday, September 12, 2004 - link
Put this in perspective: according to the Bible, Christians are not supposed to marry non-Christians. Obiously not everyone follows that, but it is stated in relatively plain English (just don't read an ancient translation).